Choosing to Stay Home
Even if I am considered part of a vulnerable population, I don’t want to be!
In reality, who does!
I just turned 60 last year and finished chemotherapy in October. Until recently I felt like I was making a comeback. But I had to undergo one more surgery this month and it seemed that I had taken 10 steps backward. And then here comes the coronavirus.
My body is still in healing mode and I am still going to the hospital every three weeks for protein blocker infusions so cancer won’t return. I really don’t know if what I am describing makes me vulnerable. My mind tells me I’m not. Depending on the time of day and the day of the week, my body may have a different opinion.
So when I was trying to determine if I was really vulnerable when the coronavirus became public, I scoured the internet to find out where I stood. While reading about breast cancer recovery, everything pointed to my immune system recovering in a matter of one month after chemotherapy. Well, it was well past a month so it didn’t seem like I had to worry about that. But I did. I was also the big six zero and officially a senior in the annals of Whole Foods and the YMCA that offered special benefits for people my age or older. So I decided to lock myself away when the coronavirus pandemic was reaching its peak. I couldn’t afford to get sick and if I did, I could only blame myself for not taking care of me. After going through a year of breast cancer diagnosis, treatment and recovery it would really be stupid of me to jeopardize my health. But I also thought that the reason I went through what I did was so I could live a full life.
Such a dilemma!
Everyone has to make decisions about what adds value to their life. But I often weigh the challenge of living for today, versus living for the future. Ultimately I decided that it was not just about doing what I wanted to do at the moment. I had to think about who else I was putting at risk and once again who else would want me to be around for as long as possible. No matter how much I think it is all about me…and it really is, I can’t stop thinking about how my life and my life choices impact others. Especially the people I love. So for now, I will stick close to home until the “corona” is under control. Walks in the neighborhood, face time calls and supporting clients by phone, email and an occasional property showing will just have to be enough.
Although this decision reminds me of much of my lifestyle while I was in active treatment, just like being in treatment I know there will be an end to the madness. So I choose to be happy and healthy at home for now. What is most important is I still have more living to do and the risk of venturing out to socialize at least at this stage in my life is just too great.
Stay Home…Stay Healthy!